Two days ago, the world lost someone special.

I don’t know him personally, and in truth I don’t know much about him at all. But you can tell when someone has an inner light within them, and he had it.

Two days ago, Stephen “Twitch” Boss took his own life.

Though I don’t know him, this one hurts. I watched Twitch for years on the Ellen Show and grew to love his playful banter with people he engaged with on the show. He frequently posted dancing videos on social media with his wife and sometimes their kids. Even though I’ve only seen him on a screen, he seemed like such a genuine person. People all over social media are commenting on how his presence always lit up a room, how everybody loved him, how kind he was. He was one of those people you felt like you knew, even if you didn’t actually know him.

The thought of such a good person’s life ending so tragically is just that- it’s tragic. It’s shocking to learn that someone who appeared to be so joyful would choose to end their own life- alone in a motel room (from what I’ve read). Someone so admired, someone who had so much, and had a family he loved and that loved him- someone who meant so much to so many.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? He appeared to be so happy. I’m not for one second saying it was a facade- again, you can tell when someone has a light about them. But we never truly know what someone is dealing with when they’re completely alone with themself.

We gotta get real.
We gotta stop hiding and living in shame.
We gotta unmask.
We gotta uncage.

I recently had dinner with a dear friend I haven’t seen in years, and we were discussing how often people struggle with things privately, and how isolating that is. It’s hard to speak out for so many reasons; fear of judgement or rejection, fear that people will think differently or think less of you, you feel like you’re the only one who struggles with this… so many reasons, but I think the root of it is often shame. It’s terrifying and humiliating to let the less pleasant parts of ourselves be exposed. Although it can be absolute torture, it feels so much “safer” to keep those parts hidden and tucked away, and to try to just deal with them on our own. But often times, the walls we build to protect ourselves become the cage that keeps us isolated and feeling like we’re all alone. We feel like nobody cares or understands, and honestly, how could they if they don’t even know we’re struggling? We feel those walls are keeping us “safe”, but they are also keeping people out, and sometimes, all we need is one other person standing next to us.

I can speak from personal experience- bringing things out into the open with a trusted confidante will often times make those dark things lose their power. Having grown up in church, sometimes I cringe at words like community and fellowship and sisterhood, because I’ve been hurt by those things in the past. I’ve learned though that people are imperfect- someone will always inevitably let us down, in any circle we choose to walk with. Sometimes, though, (silly as it may sound) definitions of words make more of an impact on me, so just go with me a sec…

Community is a group of people who interact with each other. They’re often an important source of social connection and a sense of belonging.
Fellowship is friendly association, especially with people who share one’s interests
Sisterhood is a strong feeling of friendship and support among women

Those walls we build- that mask we put on- that cage we lock ourselves into- feels safe, but they’re isolating us. Ask just about anyone, and if they’re honest they’ll probably tell you that they feel more alone than ever. Circumstances out of our control are certainly to blame as well- jobs, schedules, obligations, health concerns, etc. But if we’re really honest, I think maybe isolating is becoming the new norm, and it’s taking a toll on us [myself included].

We were made for community- to do life together. To have people in our lives who we can lean on when times get tough. To have people in our lives that can remind us who we are and what we’re capable of when we momentarily forget. To have trusted people in our lives who can call us out on things in love that we’re doing that are causing us harm or just aren’t for our good.

We need people. We need community. It’s scary, especially when we’re used to being alone. But it’s critical. Research the effects of social isolation and loneliness- it’s crazy!

1 Peter 5:8 says this:
“Be alert and of sound mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.“

A lion on the prowl is going to go after a wounded animal that’s by itself before it’ll go after one in a pack with others. There’s safety in numbers.

Please don’t feel like you have to do life or struggle with things alone. If you’re reading this, you likely know me. I’m here. Reach out.

I’m praying for the courage to step out in 2023 and do something I’ve felt called to do for years; to open my home to a small group of people {females} to meet with every so often. Maybe to read something together, or just meet here and do life together. It’s scary to put yourself out there- that’s why I haven’t moved forward with this for over 5 years. It’s so important to know you have people in your corner though- and I want to be able to offer a place to encourage that. So I’m working up the courage (as my heart races while I admit this “out loud” haha 😉
[If that’s something you’d be interested in though, private message me]

Here’s to praying that I and whoever is reading this has the courage to step out and uncage- unmask- reach out- whatever resonates with you. Don’t suffer in silence. I promise you, people care. It’s scary as hell, I get it. But I promise it’s worth it.

YOU are worth it.