My girl and I went out for breakfast this morning- something we haven’t done, maybe ever. She was so excited to be out, and I was so excited to spend some special one on one time with her. We sat down and ordered our drinks, then a bit later our food, and then we settled in to wait for our waitress to bring our food.

We drew pictures, chatted, sipped our drinks, watched some YouTube, played with all the condiments on our tables, watched all the new people come in and sit down, and other people leave. We chilled for quite a while and then I realized it had been quite a while since we ordered our food, and little miss was starting to get restless. I looked at my watch- 20 minutes. I started looking around to try to make eye contact with our waitress. She was slowly making her way to each table now- the restaurant was far less crowded than it was when we first sat down. I watched the couple seated in front of us get frustrated that she brought them the wrong kind of bacon, and her walk back to get it fixed. She then brought them regular coffee instead of decaf, so she had to go back and switch that too. I watched her fix the menus that were in a messy pile near the kitchen. I watched her looking over a pile of orders for a bit, and then she went into the bathroom for quite some time. In her absence, the other waitress in our area was having to go around to our waitress’ tables to help her customers. I looked at my watch again and we were pushing 40 minutes waiting for our food. I always tip, but by this point I was so frustrated for having to wait for so long that I Googled the prices of our drinks- I had every intention of leaving money on the table for them and just leaving. This wait was insane, and she never even came back to our table once to check on us since we had ordered: our waitress didn’t deserve a tip by this point!!

Last week in my Bible study, they talked about grace vs. mercy. It said “we often use those words interchangeably, but they actually mean very different things…”

*Mercy is when you don’t get what you deserve.
“For fallen humanity, we all deserve hell. We deserve nothing but punishment. The fact that we’re breathing right now is God’s mercy towards us. Just like He showed mercy toward Adam and Eve when they sinned in the garden, He hasn’t given us the immediate death we deserve for our rebellion.”
*Grace is when you get what you don’t deserve. It’s everything over and above not being annihilated. It’s the way food tastes delicious, it’s the way music brings us joy, and mostly, it’s the way we get to enter into a relationship with God despite our wickedness.”

I highlighted that, then kind of glossed over it. I’ve heard those two words most of my life and they didn’t feel like new concepts I needed to take too serious a note of.

This morning, though, while silently fuming over how long our food was taking, sitting next to a two year old who was just as over the wait as I was, just about ready to get up and leave and not tip our waitress, God dropped this concept of Grace vs. Mercy right into my lap.

It’s true, service was absolutely terrible and as such, she technically didn’t deserve a good tip. But when I remembered what I’d read, I paused to try to see things differently. The couple in front of us wasn’t necessarily rude, but they did need her attention a good bit. There were things that needed to be tidied in between serving customers. She wasn’t the one making the food- she had to wait just like the other servers. Maybe she was in the bathroom for so long cause she wasn’t feeling well; maybe she was stressed out; maybe she just lost someone she loves and is trying her best to cope and put on a good face in public. Who knows. And that’s exactly the point: I have no idea what is going on in that girl’s life. She came to work, so she obviously wants to get paid- she probably isn’t doing things on purpose that would cause her to earn less money.

If you really think about the truth of those definitions and explanations, [grace and mercy], even though we hear them so frequently, they really are heavy concepts…

I’m about to “say” something kind of harsh, so I pray (seriously, I’m praying about it right now) that you hear my heart in this, because I am legitimately speaking to myself as well.

As followers of Christ, we know that the greatest commandment is this:
“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is equally important: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” -Matthew 22:37-39

It can be easy to show kindness and grace and mercy when we see people hurting and in pain. It’s another thing entirely when we feel we are being treated unfairly and deserve something that we aren’t getting. Yes, as a customer of that restaurant, I “deserved” to have a good experience and to be served well and in a timely manner. But my server is a human- and humans have feelings and emotions and good days and bad days just like me. If I truly desire to be Jesus to people and represent Him well- how am I treating people when they don’t “deserve” grace and mercy? And if we want to get real deep here, who the heck am I to decide who to extend His grace and mercy to and who not to?

By no means are we expected to be perfect- if we were, we wouldn’t need Him. But we are expected to carry Him with us and extend His love to those around us. FO SHO that’s difficult sometimes- and do not read this and for one second think that I do this perfectly. Again, if you’re reading this you likely already know me and know for a fact that I am indeed, human, with very, very real emotions sometimes lol. But I’m also a human that loves the Lord- a human who has found my joy and hope and peace and so much more in Him, and deep down, I want so badly to be able to offer that to others. And my deepest prayer is that even through one small gesture, they can come to know that source of help for themselves.

This morning, I tipped my waitress what I didn’t “feel” she deserved. And I prayed (silently) for her that she would have a better day and that others would be inclined to show her grace and mercy as well. But I didn’t do it because I, Tiffany, was trying to be nice. No… I did it because I felt the Lord nudge me to extend grace and mercy to her, just as He does for me… every single day of my life. And I was immediately humbled.

I exhort you to look for opportunities to extend grace and mercy, especially when you don’t feel it’s deserved. [Trust me when I say, I’m saying this to myself as well. It wasn’t easy to leave that tip today]

If we really want to see a change in this word, especially in how people are treating others…. let it start with us.