Distraction:
“a thing that prevents someone from giving their full attention to something else- a diversion”
-“something that makes it difficult to pay attention or that draws attention away from familiar or everyday concerns”
-“anything you do to temporarily take your attention away from something, such as strong emotions”

Essentially, a distraction is a temporary diversion… and in the case of feelings, eventually those feelings you’re trying to distract yourself from will return.

I’ve been “researching” distractions lately. While distractions at first appear negative, studies show that at times, they are beneficial. One site basically says that after using a distraction method, once the [strong] feelings have reduced, you are better able to try another skill to manage the emotion.
“Distractions can also keep you safe in the moment by preventing unhealthy behaviors (such as drug use or self-harm) that occur in response to a strong feeling…”

I’ve had times, especially in the last year, where distracting myself from extremely strong and unpleasant emotions was critical. Anxiety and depression have been intense at times, as have intrusive thoughts and excruciating “lows” of grief. Through counseling, I’ve learned some very helpful techniques to help manage those intense moments, and I’m forever thankful for them.

Lately, though, I’ve been realizing how distractions can often times, (and dare I say even most of the time, in my case anyway) actually be disadvantageous. I’ll explain.

When Lindsey left, it was hard to eat at first. My stomach was constantly in knots and the thought of food made me nauseous. It didn’t take long, though, for food to become a great source of comfort. Painful flashback? Chocolate. Overwhelmed? Muffins. Mind racing after the quiet hush falls over the house after the littles go to bed? Basically binging food until I felt so sick that that’s all I could really focus on. Oh and what a sweet relief that was- super stuffed and uncomfortable with that as my main focus, and not my little sister being gone forever.

It wasn’t just food though (though that was and sometimes still is a big one). Having a few drinks, binging and “escaping” into show after show, movie after movie, book after book, video game after video game- anything to keep my wandering mind out of the present and reality.

Then there’s the trickier stuff- “self care”. Yes, I know and agree that self care is important, but even it has it’s limits of being truly helpful. Exercise, long relaxing baths, skin care and nail and hair routines, self help tips and tricks on the socials and different websites.. all good things (mostly- some of those videos can be iffy 😉 )

Distractions can shift from helpful to harmful so subtly that it’s hard to notice.

Many times they start as a healthy coping mechanism, allowing space for you to “cool off” or “calm down” so that you can react or make a decision not out of desperation or haste. But when those initial feelings return, if they are constantly just distracted against and not dealt with, you’ll likely find yourself in a continuous loop with no real progress being made.

Recently I was reintroduced to a passage of scripture I’ve always loved.. Psalms 23
I’ll put the whole chapter at the end of this, but for now, look at this with me:

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.”

“He leads me beside quiet waters.” Another version says still waters.
I don’t know about you, but I love the sound of water. It’s so peaceful and calming. There’ve been many nights when I can’t sleep that I look up a sound clip of some form of water to help me relax.

The other night I was in the shower and my mind was going a million miles a minute, about a ton of different things, and I was feeling super overwhelmed. That verse came to mind; “He leads me beside still waters”. I tried to quiet my mind by focusing on the water from my shower- “how kind of God to want that for me… rest beside calming waters”, I thought. Then another thought struck me- He said quiet water… still water. To me, quiet and still water would be pretty darn silent. Not gonna lie, at first that bummed me out; again, I love the sound of water. Then it really hit me…
The water isn’t what calms us- it’s Him.

Follow me here.
The sound of water is so soothing, and I’m not saying there is anything wrong with listening to water to calm yourself. But in the context of this verse, think about it for a second:
Still water. Quiet water.
Lying in a beautiful green pasture next to silent water.
When I imagine that, it feels like there are no distractions, not even the sound of water… only calm. It feels serene.
In a world with so much constant noise {especially between our own two ears}, His heart for us is laid out in these verses. Yes, the sound of water is calming, but in the truest sense, water could also be seen here as a distraction. If the water in this verse were not still, one could assume that it was the water that calms and refreshes our souls… but it’s not. It’s in The One who calls us to that calm.

God doesn’t want chaos for us. He doesn’t want anxiety for us. He doesn’t want debilitating fear for us. He doesn’t want intrusive thoughts and painful flashbacks for us.

He wants peace for our troubled hearts and minds and souls.

How often are we chasing after other “immediate” things to help us find peace, instead of going to the one who’s name is [the Prince of] Peace (Isaiah 9:6). As mentioned earlier, there are times that do call for quick coping mechanisms, and those are so important. But is using food as a coping mechanism a long term solution? Is alcohol? Is exercising to the point of exhaustion? Is escaping into a different reality to avoid our own, real realities? No, they’re not. They’re temporary. Eventually those strong emotions are going to come back. We can stuff and avoid all we want (and trust me, I’m talking to myself here as well), but they’ll keep coming back until they’re dealt with.

Personally, I’m so tired of feeling controlled by my emotions. I’m tired of dealing with the same things over and over and over again because they’re too difficult to deal with. I’m also so tired of struggling with these things that the thought of having to deal with them seems so daunting that I doubt if I have what it takes to face them head on.

And yet, when I’m at the end of my myself, He’s always there. Still. Every single time. Gently calling me to lie down in green pastures, beside still/ quiet waters, so that my soul can be refreshed.

Let us not see Him as a last resort, when everything else we’ve tried isn’t working.
Let’s instead learn to become aware of what we’re both allowing and using as distractions- and start working towards true peace and calm for our minds and hearts and souls [with Him, our Good Shepherd, as our guide].

As we part ways, lean in close for a second.
Friend to friend, I want to tell you something.
He really is good. And He can be trusted.
He wants nothing but good things for you.
I know Him.. so I can promise you this is true.

Psalm 23
“The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no even, for You are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love with follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD, forever.”